I Can't Unlove You
by Heart of the Lullaby
Summary: Ginger is now 35 and has moved to London. She lives with her 13 year old daughter, Dia, and everything seems fine. Until the day of Dia's 13th birthday when Ginger sees Darren in the streets of London. How will everyone deal?
1. Birthday Gone Wrong

It was a rainy London day. Ginger was holding a blue umbrella over her and her daughter, Dia's, head.

It was Dia's 13th birthday, and Ginger thought it would be nice to take her out to dinner, to the fish and chip shop a few blocks from their flat that Dia had always liked.

"Well, here we are, love," Ginger said, trying to make Dia laugh by using a fake British accent, one that always made Dia giggle as a young child.

"Mum," Dia grinned sheepishly, rolling her eyes.

They went in and had a lovely dinner, just the two of them. They talked about everything. That was the thing with Ginger and Dia: they had a strong relationship that reminded her of the one Ginger and her mother, Lois had.

It made shivers go up and down Ginger's spine to think of home. She missed everything and everyone dearly. She missed her parents, Dr. Dave, Dodie, Macie, Courtney, Orion, and even Carl. It was bittersweet leaving everyone, but she had to move on. All because of…but she couldn't think about him now. Time to focus on Dia's special day.

Once they were done eating, they paid, and started heading out the door to make their way down a few more blocks to an ice cream shop that Dia also liked.

They were at a stoplight, waiting to cross. And there. Ginger saw him with her own two eyes. He was just standing there, looking awkward and afraid. He was coming closer and closer towards Ginger and Dia.

"Uhh….Dia! Come on, honey. Let's go back to the flat. Why don't we make homemade ice cream instead? Homemade tastes better anyway," Ginger said, panicked.

"Mum…are you ok? Is something wrong?" Dia asked, a bewildered expression.

"Nothing is wrong, Dee. Just….you know how tight money is for us these days. Come on…I'll make you the best ice cream you've ever tasted," Ginger said, trying her hardest to remain calm.

"Okay. Homemade ice cream sounds fine. Are you _sure _there's nothing wrong?"

"Positive. Let's go," Ginger said, turning around, running right past Darren without even looking back.

"Wait, come back!" Darren said, chasing after them.

"Dia, honey, hurry," Ginger said.

"What's the big hurry, Mum?" Dia asked, turning back around to see Darren running after them.

"Dia…hurry! I'll tell you when we get to the flat."

"Honey, go in and get the ingredients out. I'll need to get the mail. Probably loads of stuff for you," Ginger said.

Dia did as she was told. Ginger found cards and packages from all of her friends and family back home. At the very bottom of the stack was one from….Darren. She opened it, and there was a note for Ginger, and one for Dia. She decided to only read the one for herself:

Dear Ginger,

How are you? How's London? How's your writing career going? And how is Cordelia?! Please tell me she's ok. I sent her a birthday card. You don't have to give it to her if you don't want to. I mean, if she doesn't know about me yet. Give it to her when the time is right.

And Ging…there's something I really want to say to you: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that you have no idea. I think about you and Cordelia all the time, and…I always end up hurting you, and it makes me feel so sick inside, and it's hard to live with myself. You can still hate me all you want, but I just want you to know that I'm truly, truly, truly sorry. And that I still love you. I don't think that feeling is ever going to change.

Love,

Darren

She almost couldn't bear to look at the front of her daughter's card. It had the number thirteen on the front. Even though she told herself she wouldn't read the one to Dia, Ginger couldn't help it:

Dear Cordelia,

Happy Birthday! You're a teenager now!

How are you? How's London? How's school? How's Ginger?!

I know I haven't really been around in your life, and I'm sincerely sorry for it. I love you and your mother with all my heart and that will never change.

If there's ever an emergency, or you just need to talk, you can always call me at: 159-2222.

Again, have the best birthday over!

Love you,

Darren

Darren had never sounded more like her dad, Jonas. Ginger's eyes filled up with tears. She crumpled up the letter Darren sent her, balled it up, and it landed on the streets.

She hid Dia's card under the pile, and would save it. She wouldn't give it to her now, but when Ginger thought she was really ready to tell her without bawling.

She walked inside the house, ready to face Dia.


	2. I Know About Him

My mum thinks I don't know who Darren is. The funny thing is, I do. He's my father.

My mum's walk-in closet is off-limits. A few years ago, when Mum had to go to Manchester to do some promotion for her book of poetry called "Hello Stranger" (which I might add, didn't do very good), a babysitter had to come watch me for a few days.

Rose was a college student, who studied, watched soaps on TV, and chatted with her boyfriend on the phone. She barely noticed me.

I didn't mind at all. This gave me the chance to explore Mum's closet. She always told me to never go in there. It really makes a person wonder. There must be something valuable in there she didn't want me to see.

I bravely opened the door. I was so disappointed at first…it just had a lot of clothes. Then, in the corner I saw a huge brown trunk. This was definitely what she didn't want me seeing.

I opened it to find old pictures and letters. Pictures of this strange man and my mum together, looking happy. I found one of me as a baby, the strange man holding me in his giant arms.

I looked through all of the letters, even though I know I shouldn't have. I found out this strange man's name was Darren, and he was my dad. I found out that he had cheated on Mum in high school for a cheerleader named Simone. The summer before going to college, they had gotten back together, and after college, they married. They were happy at first, Ginger writing for a newspaper, and Darren playing football. They had me, and they were happy for a little bit. Then Darren was on the road a lot for football. They hardly saw each other anymore, and Mum thought he couldn't commit. They got in a huge fight, and Mum left for England to make a writing career, taking her with me, and leaving Darren and everything she knew behind.

I never told Mum that I knew about Darren. I'm afraid I'd make her cry, and I hate it when she cries. But tonight, on my 13th birthday was different. I couldn't keep this secret much longer. I needed to let her know how mad I was at her. We saw Darren on the streets, and she pulled me along. I looked back to see my dad's sad face.

Mum entered the room, with all sorts of letters and packages, "You lucky girl! Look at all the lovely things people sent you, Dee!"

"Mhmm, yeah," I said, putting the ingredients into the ice cream maker.

"Well…I need to go freshen up. Be back in a sec," she said, trying to hide a card under her coat.

I caught her when she thought I wasn't looking, "Mum, is that a card for me?" I asked.

She looked like a deer caught in headlights, "Nothing, i-it's….nothing, really."

"Sure looks like nothing alright," I said, sick of her hiding stuff from me, "Who's it from?"

"S-s-someone…you don't know him very well, Dee. And you wouldn't want to."

"Wanna bet?" I challenged with a wicked grin, "Is it from…Darren?"

"What?! How do you know about him?"

"Classified," she said, trying out Uncle Carl's catchphrase.

"Urgh! I hate it when you say that Cordelia Aurora Foutley!"

"Well, it is my card. There's a law against reading other people's mail."

"But Dia…"

"Just cos you don't like Darren doesn't mean I have to! I want to hear what my dad has to say to me," I said.

Her eyes watered up with tears, "You shouldn't like him! He did something horrible to both of us. This is not open for discussion. I'm not throwing it away, but just putting it in a place where you will never find it," she said and disappeared to her room.

I sank to the floor sobbing. I know I had made my mother cry. This was the worst birthday ever.


	3. Come Back!

I was standing outside their apartment, my clothes soaked from the rain.

Tears were streaming down my face, thinking about how much I hurt them. I've always loved Ginger, and I hate what I've become…a living, breathing jock. I wish I could've gone back in time, and I could've stood up to my dad, and I wouldn't have to play football. I wouldn't have become that big star quarterback in high school, I wouldn't have even thought about cheating on her with Simone, and I would have never left her.

I wanted to tell her what I did. Maybe she would forgive me. But that was a foolish thought. After all I've done, I doubt she would ever take me back for a 2nd time. I know I wouldn't. But I thought maybe it would make it all better, that maybe we could still be friends, so I decided to go up, and tell her that I retired from football.

I walked bravely up the steps, and stood on her porch for several minutes taking it all in. Then, I knocked on the door.

A girl opened it. I knew it was Dia. I didn't know if she knew about me or not. It was also so overwhelming, having last saw her as a baby, now standing there as a teenager. So I ran.

"Darren! Come back!" she yelled, and I saw her chasing after me, but of course, I ran faster. I ran until I couldn't see her behind me anymore.

_Nice, _I thought, _you screw it all up again. _


End file.
